It’s 9.40 pm and I’m rummaging through the sweets drawer in the kitchen. Chocolate? Nah. Licorice? Nope, had two huge pieces already – didn’t work. Digestive biscuits? I take two, munch them and add a glass of milk. That still wasn’t it.
Before my grumpiness makes any other victims, I decide to go to bed. Maybe sleep that grouchy monster off, and wake up to Queen of Good Mood and Optimisticm. But somehow I can’t shake off the feeling that I really messed up today.
I mentally go through the day to try and find that one pea that is hiding away under the many layers of matresses and keeping me from getting to peace. Work was sort of frantic today, with a lot of unplanned urgent issues, but I more or less dealt with them. I don’t have a clear overview of the week yet, but should be able to get that tomorrow. Two meetings weren’t quite as productive and professional as they should have and that is of course bugging me. I should have managed them better.
There was a business event that I attended so shortly that I almost went unnoticed, which is clearly not very mature for someone in my position.
But all of this is more or less business as usual, so why am I so frustrated with myself? And that’s where I finally get to the core of the problem: the kids. Only one day back at work and I let out all of my minor frustrations out on them. I didn’t take the proper time to talk about their day or talk the week’s plans through. They too had their first Monday back at school and a long day and had their right to be tired and grumpy.
And that makes me really sad and disappointed at myself, that I let the annoyed and grumpy Monday Me take over from the Happy Holiday Me, just like that, without a fight. I gave up all my tiny plans and targets of the day for some long moments of self-pity, which in the end of course didn’t do anyone any good.
The solution? Get to sleep, wait till the next motning comes around and then try to do better. New day, new beginning, right?